Yesterday was.... gah and augh and rushed and ugh.
It was good too.
But mostly it was augh.
I had to drive my client a half hour away to get my paycheck (long story)...while trying to take care of a bunch of things.
Shopping. Training. Finding out there is tons of change coming.
I don't do well with change.
Stress.
Triggers.
Getting off work late, depositing my paycheck, and rushing to babysit, realizing I had groceries in the back of the car...
Not eating lunch until 4pm.
Dealing with whiny three year olds.
One who lost my cellphone...
Wandering the backyard looking for my cellphone.
Praying to find said cellphone and feeling like those prayers weren't answered.
Cooking dinner.
Missing the weekly meeting with the ARP missionaries...
Not being able to call DI... again!
Worrying about my cat that has been gone for 3 days.
I just kept telling the Lord, I am frustrated.
I am tired.
But I found the cellphone (apology prayer to Heavenly Father for all the muttering I was doing earlier).
And I spent a couple hours with my family.
Then I got upset because Walmart didn't have the brand of mouthwash I used to have
in the UK...
So I came home and went for a run.
I am not in shape, so I walked for most of it, but it was so much better than curling up in front of the TV and trying (and probably failing) to find something to watch.
I felt better. Curled up with my other cat.
Read the scriptures in the Study & Understanding section of Step 2.
Talked to Heavenly Father for a while.
I don't feel today was entirely successful as a Step 10, but I did most of what was on my to-do list.
Plus, spending time with my family and talking with a friend.
It wasn't all bad!
It just felt like it. ;)
I'm struggling. Not necessarily with my addiction... but with my character weaknesses.
With a trial I was really hoping would be over by now.
With the panicky feelings that come along with change or the idea of change.
(So I have panic attacks with change in my life... so much fun!)
I worry, I stress, I try to let go and let God and I do, but then Tuesdays happen and I try not to let
days like this overwhelm me.
Try to be grateful for lots of things every day.
Hugs always help too.
And cats.
I think there was something in the air. I felt a lot of the same things yesterday. And unfortunately still do today (ugh...). I've had crazy waves like this before though, and something that I continually remind myself that feeling crappy like I am is temporary. There's always light at the end of the darkness I feel sometimes. That helps me be patient and ok with it. Not 'ok' enough to not do anything about it, like constantly pray and let Heavenly Father know what's up and how I feel and ask for help and express gratitude for whatever I can feel gratitude for at the moment... ok. I am so rambling. Hope you get my point :) Hang in there lady. Glad you could see the good in a stressful day.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it was in the wind? Nice to know I wasn't alone. I'm working on keeping a prayer in my heart.
DeleteI'm feeling it too. I'm on a small crazy wave. But I'm fighting through it. :-) You amaze me so much lady. I sure love ya!
ReplyDeleteSo when so we land on the nice sunny beach? ;) I love you too!
DeleteShe blogs!!!!! Nice to read you, Stacey.
ReplyDeleteI do blog! Nice to "read" you too!
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