I haven't been working Step 10.
I'm on Step 11, but I still need to be working Step 10. It's been a whirlwind time.
Things with the stupid crush did not resolve themselves, but considering that he just left work for a long time, without saying good bye, pretty much shows me where I stand.
I am worth more than that.
So I'm going to have a little fire, in a fire safe zone, and say goodbye and move on.
Starting with Step 10. I haven't been making a schedule. I haven't been caring for myself physically, spiritually or emotionally. I've been depressed.
So, here on this blog, I'm going to start changing that. I'm going to Institute (which I did last week. I wasn't impressed, but I'm going to try again or find another one). I'm going to find something creative, like singing or writing, to do one night a week. I'm going to go to the temple more often.
I realized this because I've been struggling with thoughts, temptations and triggers this past week. That's a sure sign I am not working recovery fully.
I've been slacking in my scripture study. Not reading a lot and letting 1 or 2 verses count.
They don't.
It's not just a boy. I'm feeling a little lost. The job might be ending soon. I'm not where I want to be professionally or personally and I struggle with that. There's trials for my family and friends.
But each day is a new day. I can try again. So I'm going to. Starting tonight with getting to bed at a decent hour.
I press forward in the hope that there is happiness ahead. Better happiness. I choose to be happy today. To do my best and let God do His part.
That's all we can do, isn't it?
This I know, God is for me.
