Last night was my ward's monthly Relief Society Activity...
Homemaking... Enrichment... whatever they call it now.
It was a dinner and I wanted to go.
It was early enough I figured I could eat and leave in time to at least catch the sharing portion of PASG.
I haven't missed a PASG meeting in a while.
Well, I missed the whole meeting. Darn Relief Society!
Talk, talk, talk. :) Eat, laugh, repeat.
I've felt a little triggery today. I'm not sure it's solely because I missed PASG.
It's not like I'm stressed about, you know, LIFE.
Cat still missing. Work. Taking care of family.
Trying to be a good daughter.
I don't regret going last night.
I LOVE my ward. They are awesome!
And they have RS meetings on Wednesday nights. So I usually miss them, but I thought... one day a month to spend time with the cool women in my ward... Plus, there was food!
(suuuuuch good food)
Last night was so much fun!
There are women who've been in the ward since I was, so they've known me forever.
There are women that I've only known for a little bit and I love them.
I chatted with all of them (well, not ALL of them, but I chatted with a lot) and heard cool stories and talked about my life. It's amazing how someone asking you how you're doing makes you feel so good!
One day a girl in PASG asked me if I felt out of place in Relief Society because everyone seems so perfect.
I have in the past (isolation is part of addiction), but not recently.
I really feel at home in this ward.
I know that these women have their own struggles and temptations.
We don't know what another person is going through.
Each person is unique and beautiful.
Recovery has taught me that.
It wasn't as spiritual as a PASG meeting, but I am glad I went last night. I left feeling so loved and happy at being able to give love back.
Plus, the food was delicious!
Thanks for sharing your journey in recovery. It works if we work it right? I've been inspired by the blogs I've read regarding recovery. I started my recovery blog this past week. I'd like to share it with you. It's www.faithasalivingfire.blogspot.com.
ReplyDeleteThanks again for sharing your experience strength and hope with us who struggle.
Love this. I'm the same way. I love my RS sisters.. they are amazing. Some thoughts on the perfection...
ReplyDelete1. We often feel like that we because what we see in them is OUR idea of perfection. When in reality, the level of perfection the Lord wants to see from us in this life, is to become perfect in being honest about our trials and mistakes and give them to the One who can heal us. We are not required to be perfect PEOPLE.. just strive to be perfect in our humility.
2. I came to a point where I so desperately wanted my Relief Society to experience real honesty.. I didn't want them to hide behind false walls. I of course, cannot change them, but I can change me. So, I decided to be an example. I openly share what my addiction is in RS and I talk about it. I am also a RS teacher and my goal with my lessons is to great a space where people can be open and honest about their struggles. I do that by doing it myself.
So I think it's a good idea to take a look at ourselves when we feel separation/isolation from our RS sisters... because often times it is us who is separating and isolating.. it is us that is putting up the fake smile and the fake wall and our discomfort comes from feeling like a fraud.
:-)
I loved these thoughts!!! Thank you! I agree with the taking a look at ourselves part. When I am reminded (like now) or remember to do this, I often discover it is/was ME who caused the distance/separation... awesome insight.
DeleteI agree completely! I do try to look at myself when I feel separate from people. And I do try to be honest (to a point), but what I love about my RS is that some women do that. Some do hide behind smiles, but they have a choice to share.
DeleteWe can't compare ourselves to others. Like Elder Holland says, in the end the race is only with ourselves. God wants to see the progress I make compared to my position, not the neighbor's!
It sounds like your RS is awesome :) I love that!!! And you are making conscious decisions to see others as Heavenly Father sees them. That is so awesome too :) That is a skill and a gift. One I strive for. I loved when you said, "We don't know what another person is going through. Each person is unique and beautiful." I have learned this as well. I have also learned to recognize the similarities in each of our struggles, whether or not it is sexual addiction. Everyone struggles and we can all learn from one another.
ReplyDeleteVery true! Thanks!
DeleteI'm not saying there aren't people I don't like in my ward, but
I do try to love them. We all struggle. We should be kind. :)