I think it went well?

Met with the Bishop today.
I was nervous.
I had no idea what I was going to say!

I mean, going in to see my bishop for the very first time two years ago was, well, a cinch.
I told him what was going on. He told me that I had an addiction. I started recovery.
Okay, it wasn't easy. Still, I knew that I needed to see my bishop. I knew why.

I knew I needed to see my bishop this time.
But why? And what was I supposed to say?

I prayed. I was going to fast.
I decided I wanted breakfast.
I prayed.
I texted my friend to come be my support buddy.

I went to church. I was convinced he was watching me. Wondering what I wanted to see him about.
(Hello addict thinking! It's not all about me!)
I kept trying out different ways to start the conversation in my head.

Relief Society ended and I still had no idea what I was going to say.

I met my friend and made my way down to his office.
You may notice that bishops are fairly popular after church...
so I waited. The whole ward could have needed to meet with him first and I would have been cool with that.
The clerk asked me if I needed a temple recommend and I latched onto that like a drowning person on those round floaty things.
Yes!
But I could meet with a counselor then...
okay so yes, but could I still meet with the bishop?

Finally he was free. And... it went pear shaped.
First off was the temple recommend interview. Passed that.
I do love being able to say yes when he asks if I live the law of chastity!

Anyway, but the recommend part threw me off.
So the bishop handed me my recommend and then asked about me and I kinda blurted out that I'm a facilitator with ARP.
I may or may not have confessed my addiction.
At some point. I think.

So, as my friend said after, now I need to make an appointment for the real confession. :)

I told him how I'm struggling but not struggling.
He said he understood what I meant.
My bishop is a good man. He was sweet, kind, gentle, and understanding. No looks of shock.
He asked if I needed him to check up on me. He said we all have things we struggle with.
He gave me his cell number.

I could have stayed there longer, but I knew there were people waiting to see him.
So the plan is to make an appointment in a couple weeks for the "real" confession.
See how I'm doing with Step 10 at that point.

Well, it didn't go as planned, as much as I "planned," but I feel better.
It was completely a Stacey experience. :)
Slightly odd and with great chance of needing to be redone.
Thank heavens for second chances.