There's gotta be a point to this.... please

Today.
Today is hard.
This whole week has been a trial.
Ha.
These past two months have been a trial.

I'm tired. I've been having panic attacks all day.
I've felt weak and ill.
Totally freaked out.

Last Sunday I started feeling sick after church and then it hit full force on Monday.
After I got some bad news on Monday about work and my pay.
I went home early and was up most of that night. I figured it was food poisoning.
Missed work Tuesday, started feeling better that night and then was up again.
So Wednesday I went to see my doctor.
It's not food poisoning.
I've missed a lot of work. I have no idea how to make ends meet.
Two Priesthood blessings have helped, but not healed like I hoped (as in instant, or at least overnight).
Two user dreams this week as well. Very real and very troubling.

BUT I finally got to take the sacrament today!
I have a kitty curled up on my leg.
Inside, I feel things will get better. That I will make it through this.

Casting Crowns came out with a new song and I love it.
It came on the radio the other day when I was feeling so lost and alone.

Stop holding on and just be held.
My addiction won't beat me. Neither will my depression.
I'll overcome the lies.
Just as soon as I feel up to it....